I can't be sure what the reason for the recruitment decline was either. It really was around 20 when I started in 2003 and more like 7-8 when I left in 2009. But you are exactly right, stories I would hear about other PIs were far worse than anything I outlined here, even with all the dramatic flair. Besides, few PIs direct the kind of off-the-wall, creative, imaginative and exciting research like Reza does. So it was less surprising for me when the lab was getting overcrowded, than when it became more empty. Remember that survey we had to complete for TSRI's accreditation? In 2008 I think it was. There was a question which asked whether, if you could go back, you would choose a different advisor. I thought about it and I put down a "no". Although I was pretty unhappy, there were things about the group, the research and Reza himself that I really liked. And that still holds true.

There is a big fat "fuck you" to Reza in me using him and my experience in his lab for the purposes of this website. I have the hubris and the several very stressful and depressing years to feel justified in standing by this "fuck you". However, I do not hold a grudge. I was not held against my free will, and I left because I wanted to do something else. I understand and I can't blame Reza or think of him as a bad person. I tried to explain why and paint a bigger, more important, picture. Despite the negative, I've always had a significant amount of personal affinity and professional respect for Reza. I may not have spelled it out since I only focused on the problems. But really, I could not have stayed that long if I didn't.

If anything, I wish for a world where talented and hard-working scientists (of whom Prof. M. Reza Ghadiri is unquestionably one) would not face the necessity to resort to questionable and counter-productive tactics in order to survive professionally and get the credit, the recognition, the perks and the compensation they deserve. If all this blog does is convey the message "Reza is an asshole, do not join his lab", I have failed on many levels. I'm sure it does to some, but I hope others are wiser. Reza always said he wanted the smart students. And I wanted to illustrate some fundamental points here, not affect anybody's recruitment efforts one way or another.

If lab sizes were inversely affected by the PI's asshole meter reading, Ghadiri group would be large, and many or most of now highly populated and prestigious labs would be deserted. From my own experience, I can recommend both joining Reza's lab and dropping out of it. :) Both decisions were right for me at their respective times.

I hope for a change in academic science. Wherever it is to come form, I wanted to play some part in instigating it. Hopefully in the end it will work out and I will be able to say that I have made the kind of impact I wanted to make.

That said, I've read a fair amount of your blog and while there's a flare for the dramatic interpretation in these posts, I couldn't find any factual inaccuracies in the stores I was around for. People are perhaps shocked because its incredibly rare to hear such a raw no holds bar perspective from a disillusioned student. Pretty much all of us showed up as first years all eager and excited, naively believing joining a wold renowned research lab as graduate students was an incredibly opportunity and we were so lucky. I think its normal in these labs for the older students to share a disinterested growl and a "you'll see" attitude with the newbies. In fact I remember you doing that with me when I joined and thinking "whatever man, It'll be different with me." But this blog lays out with extremely gory detail of the exact dimensions of daily dysfunctions in a way that's difficult to discount. No doubt many a prospective student read this blog and thought better of it. (Not that you necessarily saved them any hardship. Stories I've hear of whispered of other PI's make our experience look downright tame by comparison.)

While I don't think any of us would support personal attacks on Reza (most of us, myself included, are quite fond of him) I think nearly all of us who were there during that time would agree the publication situation was pretty out of control. Nearly all of us had JRD papers that had been collecting dust for years (there must be at least 2 dozen papers from that time that will never see the light of day), and I'll never forget memories of commiserating over beer soaked "happy" hours, some that nearly ended in mutiny. If [prebiotic soup] wasn't around to hold us all together the lab might have melted down entirely. Many of the students were deeply disquieted over your departure and the subsequent departure of [tethered inhibitor]. You could tell Reza included was pretty shaken by it too. And for better or worse, this blog was a shot that rang out. Even though it was never discussed overtly, there's no denying your story has had an impact.

Like I mentioned in one of the comments, after I had left I described Reza's non-publication situation to one of the deans at Scripps via email. Just for kicks, because I wanted to get a reaction. And it was, as I expected, along the lines of that I was not the first student to say something, so perhaps there really was an issue, and maybe I was not making it up, but there was nothing anybody could do about it anyway because the institute cannot interfere with the way a PI runs a lab.

The way I see it, what the tenure system does is absolve both the PI and the institution of the responsibility for abuse and misconduct. The PIs get the "academic freedom" to do whatever gets the job done (which means screaming, threatening, pressuring, manipulating, pushing to the limit, etc., everything that you said) and the institutions "can't do anything about it". They wash their hands clean of all the dirt, but share in all the benefits of the dirty approach.

For the institution, getting the job done means high status and funding from the government, industry and the private sector. This is simple economics and survival of the fittest. Those institutions which fail to get the most out of the blood, sweat and tears of the "worker ants" by any means possible are simply outcompeted by those that do not shy away from the task. And, ironically, that would make an institution which decided to play nice less attractive to potential students and postdocs, as well as PIs, because of the poor funding and lower status due to lessened overall achievement and recognition. Institutions do not just compete for funding, but for talent as well.

So they will tell you to "suck it up", "step up to the challenge", "prove yourself", "earn your PhD", "get with the program" and motivate you any way they can, short of raising your pay. Bottom line, the interests of postgraduate institutions are not quite in line with the interests of their temporary residents. Which is kind of a problem, because the latter constitute the majority and put in many years of hard work as their end of the bargain.

Regardless of how you perceive your past writing now, your site was a big comfort to me at the time. I could tell people on the outside what was happening, but most of them couldn't relate or didn't understand how hopeless abusive advisement can be. When I informed the higher ups in my program of what was going on, the benefit of the doubt was always given to the advisors. Even when OSHA intervened or other students complained, I was told to suck it up or drop out.

Anyway, I'm very happy that you set this site up. "Journal of Reza's Desk" might be my favorite entry.

I did try, but my best was more like "my best, considering". Grad school and career options after grad school never sat quite right with me. Still, after college I wanted to keep my options open, learn a few more things and figure out what I wanted to do. Having done that eventually, I was able to leave and do what I really wanted. Intellectually, I still rely heavily on skills I have developed while studying and doing science. In what I do now, there are few, if any, other people who have this background. Plus, I am generally not very typical in ways I think or do things. So I guess you're right, none of this is normal. But I like it that way. It works for me.

But, again, Nicoloau is not doing anything illegal or anything the scientific community would ever criticize him for. He is simply utilizing the resources, including human resources, that are available to him to the maximum effect as allowed by the system. He is excellent at that. (I am sure that he is also, in fact, very clever, but nobody is clever enough to make the chemistry do itself.) That makes him as big a name as he is, and that could get him a Nobel prize before he retires. What a typical grad student or postdoc gets out of the deal is another matter. Some continue in his footsteps and might have their own Nobel prizes some day. I just don't think that, bird's eye view, the current system — where people like Nicolaou shine — is even productive by today's standards. There is a big cost to pay for having too much emphasis on competition and too little on cooperation.

Or maybe it is good enough by today's standards. Maybe my standards are too high for today's standards. But if nobody's ever were, today would never be any better than yesterday.

Comments are now officially closed for the rest of the hopeless idiots and mindless drones out there as well. As a group, you have been represented well enough (too well?) all the way throughout this blog. You have run out of new things to say quickly at the start, and you have never managed to grasp what this website was even about. Which was quite spectacular and interesting in itself, because I'm pretty sure you can all read. However, at this point I choose to be spared from further exhibits of your cognitive and emotional strain with regards to my person at this venue. Bonne chance.

It sounds like you've rebounded and awesome for you. But devoting an entire site to the ills of your former professor doesn't seem like moving on to me.

Nice name calling. Pure class as well.

I can see that you came from the aforementioned forum. Are you a faculty member or a student at Texas A&M? Either way, you seem like an idiot to me.