About me, that is. On the one hand, I don't find myself that interesting of a conversation topic. I'm me, and I already know a lot about myself. On the other hand, I've realized I'm spending time talking about myself in the comments under this or that post, often repeating what I've said before. And although none of this is strictly relevant to the general topics I want to discuss here, it might help for me to explain where I'm coming from.
So ask away, wait for somebody else to ask first, or for me to say something regardless. Questions like, I don't know, "Just how badly do you hate Reza Ghadiri?" or "Are you a bus driver now?". Anything you like.
Only one catch: I'll answer anything I like. :)
comments for this post
I've been a student of science for over 10 years. Most of that time I worked in academic research labs. The last and the longest time – in the laboratory of Dr. 
Did Reza and yourself agree on political issues? What do you think of Chairman Mao who I greatly admire? In your mind, is Mao a mass-murderer or great proletarian revolutionary?
By the way, do you think there is something analogous to the Confucian concept of filial piety that is tacitly observed by members of the lab (postdocs and grad students)?
Didn't discuss any political issues that I can recall. Mao — both, apparently. Filial piety? I hope not. Or someone needs to slap them.
Another question... are you $t0n3r and are there other $t0n3rs at Scripps among the postdocs, grad students, and PIs?
I'm not, but there were. Also, stoner rats in Kim Janda's lab. They did coke too. The rats, I mean. Research.
Why did you wanted to pursue a career in science? Is it because you saw scientists (academic PIs) as some sort of elite, highly prestigious social class who did not excel economically (like the shidafu in Confucian culture) who get to pursue their interesting intellectual interests.
Do you like anime? I, of course, love Japanese Yu-Gi-Oh! and Bleach!
I liked learning and being able to understand more and more about how the world works, what life is made of etc.. And if I was going to do something for living, I wanted it to be interesting to me. Or I knew I'd hate it and be miserable, regardless of how much money I made.
As a kid, I did think scientists were cool, using the power of their minds to discover the unknown and do powerful things. But I never cared too much for prestige, especially as I grew older and observed all the ridiculous bullshit associated with it.
No, I don't think anime is my cup of tea. I can't say I looked into it that much though.
I highly doubt that one needs to be a scientist in order to learn more about how the world works. For instance, one could just read wikipedia articles (which are mostly accurate) to have a fairly broad knowledge of history with some depth; one does not have to be a professional historian reading original primary sources, conducting original research.
Science, I suppose is different, since one needs access to journals if one wants to have in depth knowledge on a given topic as abstracts do not suffice.
being a scientist, is much more than reading wikipedia articles. if you don't do research, you are not a scientist. period. unless you get it done in the lab, it's bullshit.
Aha, so that's why they call those ordinary rooms with nothing but a few tables, chairs and computers "labs". (As in a "bioinformatics lab" or a "chemical physics lab".) It's so the research wouldn't be all bullshit! Or wait, isn't it the other way around, and any place sufficiently equipped to do scientific research of any kind can be called a "lab", by definition?
It's the kind of things low pay can do to one's brain. Becoming all proud and elitist helps suppress self-esteem issues. As a general rule though, if something doesn't suck as a means of earning a living, there's no need to make it prestigious.
Well, I remember the atrociously bad rapper in GTA:SA (that was the only computer game I played in four years; I didn't complete it though) OG Loc was working at a Burgershot (an obvious play on Burger King) as a janitor on probation describing his job position as a "hygiene technician". I suppose that is an occupation that could use the false prestige. :)
Wow! What has education come to when wikipedia is taken as a reliable source of information?
Well, it is mostly accurate. One does not reading comprehension skills to catch inconsistences and mistruths. BTW, are most of the statements there sourced?
What is in store for the future when people are too closed-minded to accept new vehicles of information?
Ah! Wikipedia: Vehicle of information or misinformation? That is the question; now, isn't it? Wikipedia, with all its “information” should be considered nothing but a curiosity. To think of Wikipedia as a source “to have a fairly broad knowledge of history with some depth” is not only atrocious, it is utterly ridiculous. But most of all, it is sad. It is sad because it shows what higher education has become: mass production, no depth, it has no part in forming the individual's character anymore. It has come to a point were earning a degree means nothing, does nothing for the individual. The once enriched spirit of the scholar craving knowledge and truth is no more. The education provided that opened the scholars mind and allowed him/her to become a gentler person is long gone. What we have now is a vast array of individuals and I’d like to quote an old professor of mine “who have passed through university but who did not have university pass through them”. Unfortunately, higher education institutions do not leave a mark in a person’s character anymore, at least not the mark that was originally intended.
Anyway, regarding The People’s Favorite Source of Information, it is not without reason that many articles in this so-called “knowledge database” are challenged due to inaccuracies, or maybe they not inaccuracies? Who knows, right? Who cares about works based on primary sources, reliable works? Let’s just go ahead and take a bunch of opinions, put together in a form that resembles an encyclopedia, as the truth. Who knows, maybe the person writing those articles got his information from another reliable source of information, like the Snapple cap facts.
This is pretty cool. What do you think of television? And, like, railroads and supermarkets?
What a mature way to express your opinion. And you blame the system for your failure? How about a more humble approach? How about looking at oneself first? Are my failures really someone else’s fault? What part did I play in it? If it took you so many years to realize that you were going nowhere in the field, who is really to blame? It is always an easy way out to crucify others for one’s failures, isn’t it? Others might have some influence over it, but ultimately, only you are responsible for your success or failure. How easy it is to fall into the victim pattern, isn’t it? "It’s not my fault" or "I failed because of them". You know, that’s the difference between successful people and failures. Successful people do not dwell in the past, feeling sorry for themselves, poisoning themselves with negative thoughts about their past and how they were treated oh so badly(boo-hoo). They just look forward and use the past in their favor, to strengthen them and succeed. However, that takes a character strength that not everybody was endowed with. That’s the reason why only a minority attains real success.
Anyway, it is not my intention to fall into a discussion following the general rant-like tone of this blog. Thanks for your comment, by the way. It is actually enough to rest my case. It is obvious that in all those years of higher education, you did not get a chance to learn the common courtesy of treating other people’s opinion with respect. No wonder bitterness seeps into every word you write about your experience. You obviously feel you have wasted many years getting what you thought was a higher level of education. Coming to the realization that it was all in vain must have been hard. I feel really sorry…
See here for my reply.
It is obvious from your commentary that you are just a shill for authority figures and a slave to the status quo.
Hey you know what? When the Japanese Americans were interned during world war II? It was their fault. They should have realized that the protections afforded in the constitution, that's not how "the real world" works. They just fell into the "victim pattern". They were "responsible for their success or failure".
I'm not sure I can separate successes from sociopaths ...
I mean, sure not dwelling on the past is a great thing, but disregarding the wrongs you commit to others is bad for the soul as well.
As for the rest of us, those that don't know our history are doomed to repeat it.
Or are we all supposed to walk around like gold fish with a five minute memory, pretending we are the greatest shit on the planet. maybe that's really what happened to us all.
I find general nose thumbing towards wikipedia a little lame...
Sure, articles on topics where (vocal) parties have an interest in framing things one way or another, tend to be a little volatile...hate to tell you that your history textbooks aren't bias free either, and wikipedia makes it a lot easier to see where the contention is.
Wikipedia is incredible for a lot of math, computer science and physics...even chemistry; the articles often provide formal definitions along with more intuitive explanations. I usually prefer the articles to the textbooks for a lot of the definitions.
And hey if you want to learn about the Dragon Ball pantheon, you can do that too.
You write about this 'once enriched spirit' and the 'originally intended' mark. Have you heard the song Nostalgia For An Age That Never Existed?
Exactly.
Eg:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collatz_conjecture
Try finding a mathematics text that describes that quite as concisely, accessibly, accurately, and up to date. You can't.
Look man, I think school has it's place, but MOST people have greater aspirations in life that to be know-it-all windbags. We like to use our hearts as well. Some of us, would like our legacy to be our families and friends and not be the most merited guy in the old windbag club. I'm all for school as a means to an end, or a means to pursue knowledge (or at least where to look it up.) As for most trivial things that don't make or break your world or humanity, wikipidia is GREAT! I often use to get back ground and a feel for a general area of knowledge that I have no clue about before I go into the deeper realms of the literature. I remember reading the wikipedia postings about liquid crystals BEFORE I looked at the articles of one my interviewers to get a working basis of the knowledge terminology. You know, it was accurate enough to get me up to speed. Do I expect it to be the source of all knowledge ... well no .. of course not, but trying to get general knowledge out of journal articles wastes everyone's time.
Wanna come play soccer on Monday?
P. S.
жжошь. =)
I do, but I don't think I'll be able to make it. ) P.S. Speak American! )
What do you do now, since you left grad school?
I'm fooling around with a few ideas, classified for now, but I might brag if and when I start making it semi-big.
online dating! I hope you're working on online dating. Although it's hard to compete with okcupid
Are you a trader, investor, or speculator in financial markets now? I am just guessing what you are doing now because someone suggested poker as it involves betting.
Could be. It's interesting enough.
Andrei, I always wondered what the heck happened to you! I am from your past, the good old days of Toon town. Your lab experience started with MIlan and I as your lab mates. Sorry for that. I registered my email when I posted this comment so go ahead and email me to catch up (a little more than the horrors of grad school).
CP
Awesome. Will do!
@ Anonymous fe63 ↑
And just like that, the conversation turns back to me again! Lol.
How can treat you with respect? You're both stupid and aggressive. Either is fine in my book, but not both at the same time. Besides, I can't take your romantic-aristocratic hardon-for-ye-olden-days bullshit seriously anyway. So, I ask again, are you absolutely positively sure you're not some wig-wearing asshole dragged out from the 18th century somehow? )
You say it like "not failing" (whatever that means -- getting a PhD, becoming a prof, finding a job in the industry?) is the only good, or the best, thing in the world. Why should I be bitter? I'm not you, and I don't suffer from all the pretentious crap you appear to be afflicted with (you should do something about that, btw, it'll make you happier, trust me). I like science, so I hung out in Academia for a (long?) while, then I felt like I wanted to do something else, so I did. I didn't want to be a prof, get a PhD or a job in the industry. But no, I never thought my science years were a waste either. Because, for one, they weren't. So that, once again, covers that, hopefully.
As for "rant-like" qualities of my writing, I personally prefer 'edgy', since rants, to me, are incoherent and/or nonsensical/humorous tirades, and I actually try to present carefully thought out logical arguments. Illustrated with my own experiences, yes. If you find the latter utterly horrible or overly dramatized... I don't know, lighten up or something.
P.S. You kinda sound like that fucker from the chemistry-blog who wouldn't believe I wasn't bitter even after I said so. Are you? If not, you guys should hook up and be friends. ))
First question:
Why would you quit grad school if you were successful?
Second:
Why would you make a website about your boss and the terrible experience that is grad school, if you were successful?
Third:
Did you really "stick" around grad school because you were successful and thought it might just be good to "stick it out", or were you just not successful? at all.
Fourth:
If you weren't successful, then did you just make this site to blame others for your misfortunes, blame the graduate school institution you resided at for failing to give you success, instead of looking upon yourself for how you have may caused your own misfortune?
If you think about what "successful" means, you'll start getting somewhere. From your questions, it seems like you are putting a sign of equality between grad school and life. And, of course, you shouldn't. One is but a small part of the other, and not even a strictly necessary one... Not to compare myself to Bill Gates, but why did he quit Harvard if he was successful there? Or was he? And who cares?
I'm growing tired of all you admit-it-you-are-bitter-and-miserable types, but it does look to me like you're honestly not getting it. At the same time, I don't think I'm going to be able to help any of you. I'm pretty sure I've said enough so that a reasonable person would at least begin to understand. I've already said why I started this web site, why I went to grad school, why I quit grad school, and what I feel about this and that. You've been around from the start, so I would think that you'd read some of it. Perhaps, you just don't believe me. Well, that's not really my problem, is it now?
You won't be able to understand much if it's an overly emotional issue for you. Which it can be if you are/were a grad student yourself.
I started this website because I'm human, and humans are social animals. To say what I wanted to say, to be heard, to listen, to discuss, to think, to help people, to piss people off. Whatever. Do you know of any other website quite like this? I didn't. So I started one. It's not about grad school being a "terrible experience" (it wasn't all that terrible for me, how about you?). It's about shedding light where there isn't enough. About trying to think outside the box of an age-old system.
But, you know, the whole "look at me, I quit grad school and spilled the beans on my PhD advisor" thing works as a publicity stunt / link bait as well. I didn't have to do any advertising, just google "Reza Ghadiri" – a few visitors guaranteed every day. I don't know how pissed Reza is about this, but I'm guessing he's fine. In any case, it's my right to talk about my life, I own the domain name, and so on. My only real beef with Dr. Ghadiri is that he couldn't help but insult my intelligence. I did feel like I owed him for that, this website makes us even and clears that misunderstanding, I'm sure. But he is not a horrible person, and neither do I blame or hate him, Jah forbid, I would have still joined his lab if I started all over again.
I originally wanted to build towards and get into more challenging subjects like the future of scientific communication, open science, application of some basic ideas from economics to the organizational aspects of modern scientific endeavor. And I might yet, I'm not sure. It's been six months, and we still can't get past the puzzle of why I quit grad school. :/
Andrei, feel free to post (please anonymously, for now) some of the organizational ideas that I communicated to you in person about how to improve the structure of graduate school.
I went to a high school (the one of the first public "charter school"s, before "charter school" existed as a term) - and one of my teachers really highlighted a distinction between "success" and "excellence" - "success" is something that is fleeting and highly conditional on circumstance. "excellence" is an internal condition that we should strive for. Excellence does not guarantee success, nor does success always come from excellence. But you have agency over it, and it can potentiate success and even in the absence of success it creates personal fulfillment.
Okay that might sound like a bunch of hokey BS. But here's the point - graduate school currently is so competitive and a selective mechanism (versus a nurturing mechanism) that it favors "success" over "excellence". And it's understandable to not want to be a part of that.
As a counterpoint to my comment, I'd like to present something about what the real world rewards (and it's not excellence).
http://reason.com/archives/2010/02/12/the-fable-of-market-meritocrac
I don't "hate" my advisers. With a few exceptions, I got really lucky. What kills me about scientists ... is that they are painfully unempathic to the human condition, and come across as sociopaths. So many profs really think that the rest of the world, if they tried hard enough, can be satisfied and full filled as total asbergers cases. I guess the thing that insulted me the most about science. Is that I do "work hard" I get off on "working hard" but I'm not egotistical about it, and I get tired, and I would like something in return, like every once in a while. I like payments in sex, money, and friendship, you can keep the prestige ... and it's not really negotiable for sex and friendship ... maybe money every once in a while. I just think the fact that I was so "hard working" and "dedicated" yet cared little to nothing about meritocracy and ass kissing is why I'm having a REAL hard time right now ... oh well.
Some stupid questions:
1. What would you rather have? 1) pitch a no-hitter and being a starting pitcher on a World Series championship team or 2) a PhD in organic chemistry from Duke?
2. What do you think of the rapture?
1. First if I didn't have to train/study/work for it, second if I had to. In the end, I'd still rather be a nerd, than a jock. Although, if you changed the sport from baseball to soccer, I wouldn't be 100% sure about that. ))
2. Christian or Buddhist kind? Either way, not much.
1. The correct answer should be "I rather be Derek Lowe" :-p -- BTW Mike Mussina is a very good pitcher and also a nerd according to his wikipedia article. But unlike Lowe, he hasn't been on a World Series championship team nor pitched a no-hitter, but he did come close to pitching a perfect game that was spoiled by the 27th batter (Carl Everett; for some fun, look at Everett's wikipedia article about his personal views, it is so funny.)
2. Christian rapture.
Do you play poker now? I know an Asian guy who lives in Macau who claimed he solved PLO cap and made a million playing poker and now sells his services for coaching poker at StoxPoker.com
I would really like to know how long it will take before your website will appear as a first hit on Google when you type in "Reza Ghadiri". But then, that is not a question about you... Feel free to answer anyway.
why don't we start a futures betting thread here.
Yes, let's do that...
I want to short US Treasuries now at 293 bps although I haven't even looked at the equity, currency, commodity, and other bond markets yet, nor have I looked at market sentiment, fundamentals, and technicals.
Shorting the whole market sounds like a good idea right now. I'm looking at:
http://www.google.com/finance?q=MZZ
S&P 500 should drop back to the ~800 level. If that happens one would make a ~< 40% ROI off of MZZ. It is, however, a risky play.
Well, no need to answer anymore, it has already happened.
I'm expected to accept my ph D. degree in Korea and want to experience of Posdoc in USA, especially Scripps.
Your project made me " be afraid".
Could you explain other PI as like Ghadiri that you know, please"?
In fact, I went to webpage of Ghadiri and the page was strange a little.
And then, I examed "Ghadiri " in google and found your blog.
I don't know that is a luck or an unluck, if you will tell me all Professors are similar with him.
Reza is a REALLY NICE GUY. He and I used to chat at the gym. But, he is just a very, very bad manager.
You will find that almost all PIs in the United States are bad managers. That is because who becomes a scientist? The kid who got picked on in high school for wearing glasses.
A better question would be: Who is NOT a bad manager?
If you're dead set on Scripps, I would suggest Phil Dawson. He is a super nice guy, and actually a pretty good manager. But you better love peptide chemistry. Also, he's kind of almost too nice. There have been eras in his lab where bad people postdocs have trampled all over the lab and made it a hellhole.
Yeah, Phil's a good guy. Amazing considering who he did HIS postdoc with...
IIRC it was barely even a year.
And his grad advisor--man, how did that dude come out of his training not seriously scarred for life?
Hello Andrei - I really like your site. A few questions: what really excites you in science/technology? Beyond that (professional stuff)? Finally, how were you so patient when people barraged you with Gerald Joyce questions that were tangential (at best) to the point of your blog?
http://www.amazon.com/Novel-Efficient-Synthesis-Cadaverine/dp/1448627176
Apparently not so fictional.
RB, I maintain the book still sucks, but the kernel of the idea is there.
Are you thinking of writing another?
What city from back in Sovok are you from?
Andrei is going to be the next Phil Ivey!
Hey Andrei, Since you are Scripps insider, could you tell something about Boger's lab?